We have been having a great time on our vacation here in Florida. Tomorrow we begin the trek that takes us one unwilling step back into reality. I will be in class for three days before we get on the plane and leave all of the wonderful sun and warm (comparatively) temperatures behind and step grudgingly back into the reality of Northern Michigan Winter. (At least it will be with tanned faces and systems chock full of Vitamin D!)
On Saturday Tammi and I had a great afternoon on the beach enjoying the 70 degree temps, the blazing sun, and the sound of the surf. It was a little windy, and many of the locals we saw were wearing fleece, but to us it was divine. We settled into our chairs for a three hour time of relaxation. So we thought…
It wasn’t long before we realized that we had placed our chairs directly “downwind” from a guy that was very talkative… The problem was that he was not talking to someone who was there, but someone on the phone. I say he was talking because this was not a conversation. It was a monologue that was irritating at first, but it quickly turned comical. Here are some of the topics we were able to overhear:
- How to put a Buick engine in a Toyota – “Sure the motor mounts are different, but you can just weld the thing in and then splice the wire harnesses. It’ll just take some fine tuning, but it’ll work.”
- How to help your loved one in a Long Term Care Facility if you don’t think their meds are working properly for them – “Just look at the pills they give her in that place then go down to CVS and find a pill that looks like it. Buy those and then go back and switch ’em out. Make sure it’s not a pill that’s gonna hurt her though. I don’t want you to think I’m saying to murder her, ‘cuz that wouldn’t be right”
- Staying up to date with technology – “Yeah I got this new iPhone yesterday and it does all kinds of stuff. First time I had one of these things, so I made sure I really read the instructions good. Man, I went over ’em for like 8 hours yesterday ‘cuz I don’t wanna look stupid in front of people or nuthin’.”
There were a number of other things that came up, and the funny part of listening in was that his accent made it sound all the better. He was definitely from the northern east coast, and after thinking about it, I would place his accent as Jersey or maybe New York. I’m not making fun of people who live there, it just made the conversation about pain meds sound REALLY funny!
Shortly after the lesson on “learning your tech”, he began to apply his new found knowledge and skill set to ask Siri for some information. I am not sure if his accent was causing the problem or if a ninth hour of study would have been a good idea…
“Hello there, Siri.” “Hiya, Siri.” “How are ya, Siri?” “Siri?” “Can you hear me, Siri?”
Those salutations and questions were made or asked one after the other with an approximate one second pause between them before being repeated 3 times. At then end of that he would call someone on the phone and ask them if they knew what to do to get Siri to share her knowledge with him before he would hang up and start the cycle over again. We heard this happen 4 times before he started a new tactic…
“Siri, how do I turn you off?” “Siri, how do you disable Siri?” “Siri, OFF!”
We heard this a couple times and then more phone calls were made asking if anyone else could help with exorcising the phone of the spirit of Siri – to no avail. Finally he made a last phone call…
“Hey. Yeah, it’s me. Of course it’s me. Why wouldn’t I call you? Who else would I talk to?”
At that point Tammi said, “Well it certainly isn’t Siri!” We lost it. I laughed so hard. I love that gal and her wit. Our friend quieted down after that and just started smoking cigarettes. As we were downwind from him, we soon packed up our stuff in search of a less carcinogenic area of sand.
It was a funny event on our trip, but it got me thinking. How often do we treat God like this guy treated Siri?
- Spend some time reading the Bible so we can feel like we understand how this whole “God thing” works in our lives and how we can use it for our own good.
- Speak to God in a way that does not offer Him any honor or respect and only when we want something from Him. (Great way to build a relationship with your Creator.)
- Get mad and blame Him when He doesn’t come through for us in our requests – trivial and self serving as they may be.
- Enlist the help of others to find a way to make God fit into our idea of who He should be.
- When all else fails, try to cut Him out of our lives.
I know God isn’t an artificial intelligence. He is TRUTH. He holds all knowledge in His hand and is willing to share it with His children when they humbly ask. He wants His children to be RELENTLESS in their desire to know Him better. He wants them to be eager to bring their requests to Him, but He wants us to always understand and recognize that He is God. He has the answers. Every single one of them.