Why I Am No Longer A Regular On Facebook.


facebook-closed-march-15-2011A good defense is better than a good offense, but when someone is offended, no defense is sufficient.  There may be some exceptions to that last one, but from what I have been seeing on-line lately, there aren’t very many.  The offended are growing in number every day, and we still have nine months left before an election!  It’s only going to get worse before all sensitivity shifts because of the new players on the board.

Be it politics, sports, lifestyle choices, food choices, pictures, or language, there is always something for someone to be offended by, and there has never been a better avenue for polarizing opinions offending beliefs and hurting feelings than Facecrack.  Millions of people world-wide agree!  They must, or they wouldn’t spend so much time arguing about it there.

For the last few months I have been thinking that my time on Facebook is going to come to an end, and I think it happened today. I have stated as recently as last week that I am probably going to shuffle off for reasons of my own, and today it just became apparent to me that it is time.  I don’t know that anyone will really care if I am gone, or why I left, but I thought I would at least give my reasons so people won’t be offended by my not providing a reason. So, here they are in no particular order:

I get offended too. – When I read through some of the stuff I see written out there it makes me angry that people can actually think that way.  It make some want to set them straight and shake them out of their misbegotten ways.  If they blatantly attack me for my beliefs I want to lash out at them in return.  How dare they, right?  Right?  Anyone out there?  Am I the only one that feels this way?

I want to defend people. – Sometimes I see someone getting ganged up on by people who are offended by something that might have been said in a completely benign manner.  Poor guy could just be making a comment about something that just brought him a moment of joy, but here come the naysayers.  It crosses my mind that this guy can use a little help, and I like to help an underdog, so I should wade in and help him out, right? Right?  Am I the only one on this too?

I get misunderstood. – I gotta own a part in this.  I’m a weird guy sometimes, and I might say something that only a few people in my audience will understand, and I do that without thinking.  I’ve had a few Facecrack flare-ups from stuff just like that.  A simple joke in front of the wrong audience can be very offensive.  I’m not blaming the audience.  When I post without thinking about who I could offend, that is my fault.

It is getting harder to do the right thing. – Today I was ready to make a rebuttal that could have been hurtful.  I had it all written and just before I hit send, I realized I was doing this for the wrong reasons.  My goal was not to clarify anything, or to help someone see my side of things, I just wanted to take  minute and rub someone’s nose in something.  Just before I hit send, I heard the rabbi Lou asking me, “Is this being right or doing right?”  I deleted it instead.  It wasn’t easy, but I did it.

I don’t want to hurt people. – It seems that in today’s social networking, skin has gotten pretty thin.  Some of that might be due to the increased time people are spending in an environment that frankly, is toxic!  So much negativity exists on timelines and walls, and while it was intended to bring people together, it seems to drive people further apart.  I’ve been involved in a few of those little battles, and I have unintentionally hurt some people, and I want to avoid that in the future.

I want to be a positive person. – I gave up talk radio a few years ago because of how it always left me feeling like it was time for an argument.  So much doom and gloom, tragedy, muck-raking and mud-slinging takes place on talk radio, and Facecrack isn’t really much better. Actually it is worse.

I am just offended by how much Facecrack offends me. – I guess the main thing I want people to understand is the that I am not stepping out of Facecrack because I am offended by anyone.  It’s not the posts, it is the effect Facecrack has on me.  It’s not the people, it is the way it hurts relationships.  It’s not the time wasted, it is my desire to be a better steward with my time.  I’m not ignoring friends, I’m trying to avoid a lot of cross-posted negativity.

So, this is what I am planning to have as my Facecrack presence:

  • I will no longer be checking into Facecrack several times every day.  I will check in two nights per week.
  • I’ll still post my blog on Facecrack if anyone is still interested in reading it.  While comments to the blog can be done on the bottom of any of the posts, I know some will feel more comfortable commenting on the Facecrack feed, and that is the main reason I will be checking a couple days per week.
  • As far as social media goes, I will be on Instagram, and possibly Twitter.
  • I plan to write more, and about more things.  Maybe even start working on that book I want to put together.

I’ve seen people drop off Facecrack without telling anyone why, and since this idea started to form in my mind, I have been hoping that I would be able to share in a respectful way, the reasons I am pulling back.  I pray I have not offended anyone with this post, as I have thought a lot about what I wanted to say, and how I wanted it to be heard.  I hope that was clear in my words.

This has been a hard choice, but a choice to be Relentless in my pursuit of building and maintaining right relationships with God, my family, my friends, and everyone else.  I want to put the things that cause me to stumble away as I try to live a Relentless Life for God.  I hope to hear from you all from time to time.

In HIS Grip,

Tom

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Author: Tom Tanner

I'm a follower of Christ, husband, and father. Over the last few years I have been learning how to dig deeper into God's Word and letting it influence more of my life. As I learn, try, fail, and repeat in this process I am seeing God's hand more and more in my life and that of my family as well. This journey is long, hard, and at times a little lonely, but living a Relentless life for Christ has rewards that reach beyond me and my family. My prayer is that it brings God glory and leaves a legacy that will show His influence in my life.

2 thoughts on “Why I Am No Longer A Regular On Facebook.”

  1. It looks to me like the problem isn’t Facebook, but the fact the level of discourse is ridiculously low.

    I hear it from people in their own words. They think debates are about convincing and ‘winning’, when in fact a good debate is one that we learn from. We may realize we are totally wrong or totally right, but the important thing is to make an opportunity to learn.

    Sadly, I don’t see this attitude. People don’t want to learn but just promote an agenda. Ignore all criticism and constantly attack the other side.

    Like

    1. I was just having that same discussion with my family. Honestly Facecrack is a HORRIBLY place for such discourse, but too many people see it as possible.

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

      Like

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